Flashbacks

I had a flashback to Middle/High School gym class last night. Not so much the visuals, but the feelings. I didn't do well in gym class. I was one of those kids that never knew the game being played and was always picked last for teams. So why did I get those feelings? I am doing a 30 day trial at a martial arts studio in my hometown and was in a room with people who would never talk to me if they weren't being told to, and I was expected to join in and do the routine even though I had never seen the routine done before. I wanted to go into the corner and cry. I wanted to stop, but I kept going. I'm not sure that continuing to do something that makes me feel like a kid is the way to get more self-esteem.

After I returned home I said to my husband, "I need to weigh whether it's worth it to be away from you guys just to feel like I'm in gym class again."

Am I willing to go back a few more times? Is this a way to find my right path? I won't know until Monday rolls around again.

Embracing Digital

I am 40 years old. I saw computers come into my school system in middle school but they never got a foothold before I graduated. Therefore, I have still relied on paper notebooks for writing, CDs/cassettes/vinyl for music, and paper bound books for reading. I love to collect all three hobbies. While I don't think that I will ever be able to get rid of my paper notebooks entirely, I want to start writing on the computer more and downloading books and music rather than buying a physical object to "have."

I am to the point in my life where I have too much stuff that isn't serving any purpose other than keeping me from enjoying my life. I don't have the room to store all the books and music that have piled up over the years and now reach from floor to ceiling. I don't want to pick up fallen Jenga towers of books, magazines, CDs, and notebooks anymore. I want to embrace the digital lifestyle.