I've struggled my entire adult life with being myself. Why? I'm starting to boil all of that down. I do not believe what I want to do is important. I believe I should do what ANYONE else thinks I should do. I am deathly afraid of confrontation.
I'm strong when I'm alone. I cave when I'm in the company of others. I want to be strong in the face of anything that gets thrown at me. Instead, I let go of control and go along with the wishes of others so I don't have to risk getting yelled at by them. No one has yelled at me in years, but I'm still afraid I will be yelled at. Emotionally, I am a child. When it comes to dealing with money, I am a child. When does the fear stop and the living begin? How about today?
Today I am grateful for my life, not afraid of it. Today I will do something that I want to do, after all, it is what we do everyday that is more important than what we do once in a while.
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