I had a flashback to Middle/High School gym class last night. Not so much the visuals, but the feelings. I didn't do well in gym class. I was one of those kids that never knew the game being played and was always picked last for teams. So why did I get those feelings? I am doing a 30 day trial at a martial arts studio in my hometown and was in a room with people who would never talk to me if they weren't being told to, and I was expected to join in and do the routine even though I had never seen the routine done before. I wanted to go into the corner and cry. I wanted to stop, but I kept going. I'm not sure that continuing to do something that makes me feel like a kid is the way to get more self-esteem.
After I returned home I said to my husband, "I need to weigh whether it's worth it to be away from you guys just to feel like I'm in gym class again."
Am I willing to go back a few more times? Is this a way to find my right path? I won't know until Monday rolls around again.
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